Let's Talk About Sex!
Running the shop, I always find it entertaining seeing how different people react to talking about things of a sexual nature. It's amazing how broad the spectrum is. Sometimes you get the introvert, sometimes the extrovert, but most the time it lies somewhere in between. One of the cutest is seeing people wander in totally unassuming and not realizing where they are until they're fully in the store and then making a very brisk move from whence they came not even returning a friendly hello or a simple smile.
This reaction most likely relates to a psychological theory called sexual armouring, which was originally put forth by Dr. Wilhelm Reich in the 1930's. The idea stems from a thought that through past traumatic experiences (be they mild or extreme) the body and mind store these events, which over time develop into blockages where energy has trouble flowing to. Our pelvic areas are great examples of this. From childhood on, this area has gotten countless amounts of people in trouble one way or another and as a result, our capacity for sexual pleasure or enjoyment of full orgasmic release has been inhibited. Reich also believed that our inability to express sexuality causes rage, which must also be repressed, and then sex becomes in his words "mechanical and brutal".
The first step in dealing with sexual armouring is to accept the fact that as adults that have been raised in western society we all, to some extent, have some of this ingrained within us. Once we realize the issue we can start talking about it, and herein lies the crux. For some people, sex is a very tricky topic to discuss, whether openly or in private. There is a feeling of exposure when we talk about it, yet it's the one thing we all have in common.
Working at the shop, I've found that treading lightly around the conversation keeps people's sensitivities and emotions intact, and being comfortable in our own sexuality makes talking about sex that much easier. The trick sometimes is in becoming comfortable with ourselves, which inevitably leads to being comfortable with our partners. How we become comfortable is probably as varied as each individual. One practice that we can all use to help us over some armouring issues is when in doubt, breath and reflect, and if it's still uncomfortable, cease and desist and come back to it at a later date. That practice doesn't just live in the realm of the physical, but can also be applied to both emotional and mental situations as well since they're all interconnected.
I hope that helps to shed a little light on what makes up some of our attitudes towards sex. It's definitely not the whole answer, but it's a beginning in recognizing how the mind affects the body and vice versa.
This reaction most likely relates to a psychological theory called sexual armouring, which was originally put forth by Dr. Wilhelm Reich in the 1930's. The idea stems from a thought that through past traumatic experiences (be they mild or extreme) the body and mind store these events, which over time develop into blockages where energy has trouble flowing to. Our pelvic areas are great examples of this. From childhood on, this area has gotten countless amounts of people in trouble one way or another and as a result, our capacity for sexual pleasure or enjoyment of full orgasmic release has been inhibited. Reich also believed that our inability to express sexuality causes rage, which must also be repressed, and then sex becomes in his words "mechanical and brutal".
The first step in dealing with sexual armouring is to accept the fact that as adults that have been raised in western society we all, to some extent, have some of this ingrained within us. Once we realize the issue we can start talking about it, and herein lies the crux. For some people, sex is a very tricky topic to discuss, whether openly or in private. There is a feeling of exposure when we talk about it, yet it's the one thing we all have in common.
Working at the shop, I've found that treading lightly around the conversation keeps people's sensitivities and emotions intact, and being comfortable in our own sexuality makes talking about sex that much easier. The trick sometimes is in becoming comfortable with ourselves, which inevitably leads to being comfortable with our partners. How we become comfortable is probably as varied as each individual. One practice that we can all use to help us over some armouring issues is when in doubt, breath and reflect, and if it's still uncomfortable, cease and desist and come back to it at a later date. That practice doesn't just live in the realm of the physical, but can also be applied to both emotional and mental situations as well since they're all interconnected.
I hope that helps to shed a little light on what makes up some of our attitudes towards sex. It's definitely not the whole answer, but it's a beginning in recognizing how the mind affects the body and vice versa.
posted by Eric Armour at
11:50 AM
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